Thursday, November 30, 2006

"I'm so tired...."

Lately, I've been extremely dissatisfied with my eyebrows. They don't have very much of a shape and there are several little "wildies" sprouting up in places they shouldn't. My eyebrows are migrating. The other night I was looking at three of my beautiful friends (Amy McClure, Elizabeth Wilson and Amanda Hannah--they're all really exceptionally pretty. Actually, all of my friends are pretty. All of them. I don't have a single un-pretty friend that I can think of right now.) and I noticed that they have beautiful eyebrows. When I drink a little alchohol, not even too much--one glass of wine even, I notice how pretty all my friends are. If I have a second glass, I'll start saying things like "Oh, you're so pretty! You're the prettiest girl!" That's how I know when to stop.

Anyway, I decided to take control of my eyebrows and I made an appointment at one of Birmingham's fancy-pants salons to have them shaped. This involves lying flat on your back while an eyebrow shaping person puts hot wax on your eyebrows and yanks them out. Then, she'll get the rest with tweezers. (They don't pull out ALL your eyebrows.) It costs $22. It's worth it. I feel like a new girl. All my little eyebrow hairs are in a nice little row. Yay, tidy eyebrows. This is a luxury I shall afford myself regularly.

When I was sitting in the waiting area, I overheard some ladies talking. These ladies weren't as naturally pretty as my friends, but they had certainly done some work to acheive a kind of artificial prettyness peculiar to the well-heeled. We're talking new boobies, new noses, fake nails, full-makeup, hair color, hair extentions, dyed eyebrows, facials, seaweed wraps, you name it. They were what Southerners call "done up."

One of them said to the other "I spend two hours on myself every morning just to get ready to leave the house. I wouldn't, but my husband wants me to and I really want to do my part to work on my marriage."

Wow. (Shudder.)

When I got home I called my husband to tell him that I had brand new and not crazy eyebrows, he said "You paid to have your eyebrows ripped out with wax? That's weird. Why would you do that?"

I love him. He's the best of both of us.

11 comments:

rebekka said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I love this post, Susan. I'm cracking up. I'm like "man, THAT is something I can relate to!". Does that make me really shallow?

Anonymous said...

i saw kelly attacking herself with tweezers over thanksgiving. i can't understand it. i would have wept if i had been on the other side of those things. but she says she does it everyday. i guess i might appreciate it more if i could see her with a unibrow.

susan said...

Rebekka, NOOO! That does NOT make you shallow. I never realized how important eyebrows are. Yesterday, I called David about 6 times to say "My eyebrows are so pretty! They are the prettiest eyebrows ever!"

Ersatz, Kelly is pretty. You should give her a gift certificate to go see Jeanne at the fancy-pants salon and get her eyebrows ripped out with wax. Although, she might take that the wrong way. It's not so much that our eyebrows grow straight across as that they grow in weird places.

Su

Carla said...

Teehee. I have always wanted to get my brows done professionally, but I didn't know how "grown out" they have to be. And I don't want to let them get TOO unruly ...

susan said...

Carla, I don't think you have to let them be all that grown out. I think you should just go and have it done. Go to the Greenhouse and make an appointment with Jeanne. Just do it. You'll thank yourself.


Su

Anonymous said...

I love this post! And not just because you called me pretty in it (although I am very thankful that you think I'm pretty). :)

Now I will tell one of the grossest and saddest eyebrow stories ever ...

The week before my senior prom, I decided to get my eyebrows waxed. I was on Acutane at the time (an acne medication that sucks all of the oil out of your body and takes away your zits. It also causes birth defects in children and can make you committ suicide ... I don't recommend it.) Little did I know that the medicine made my skin extremely sensitive. Yeah ... my skin came off when they yanked off the wax. SICK! I had scabs on my eyebrows for my senior prom.

Note: this should not deter you from getting your eyebrows waxed, should you be considering it. Unless you're taking Acutane ... then definitely DON'T.

susan said...

That story is the saddest story. They should ask you if you are on acutane before they do that, don't you think?

I don't know what it is about acutane, but everyone I know who has been on it has never had a zit since. It must be a bad ass medicine.

Su

andrew spear said...

i'm with david, that is weird.

susan said...

I think I like that he thinks it's weird, but doesn't gripe when I spend the money to do it.

On Sunday he said "When did you get so prissy. It's not attractive. Really. It isn't." But I think that just means I'm not supposed to say "Look at how pretty I am!" all the time like I do now that I got my eyebrows done. :-)


Su

andrew spear said...

i have a freind, who is a girl. i like that she is a girl. i like her girl-ness. i like that she gets so excited about christmas, cooking food, what she is wearing, and what so-and-so is wearing. i'm not into any of that stuff. i like building stuff and getting dirty, and that's about it. but, oddly enough, i like it when she is so "not-me."

susan said...

I hear what you're saying, Andrew.

Su