Thursday, May 04, 2006
Swing Away! (Or, Swingles of the World Unite! Or, please get a clean plate when you return to the buffet.)
I have in my possession a photograph of a happy man. Perhaps he's happy because he just got a new bass boat. Perhaps he's relieved because he doesn't owe any taxes this year. Maybe, he just passed the bar exam. But, I think he's happy because he gets to spend time with the girl in the background of the same picture and no one actually expects him to marry her. I would very much like to show this picture to you because it is moderately funny, but the happy man in question does attend a church in our fair city and I don't know who is going to wander over here from the maelstrom that is Brian T. Murphy's Blog and see it. If he were from Massachusetts, I would have no such moral dilemma.
Perhaps you're involved in a singles group at church. If so, please consider this: Singles groups allow men to hang out with cute girls two, three, maybe even four nights a week. They don't have to try and coordinate their schedules. They don't have to bother calling these women to make plans. They don't have to pay for anything. The result is a virtual woman buffet for men who don't want to order off the menu. In the oft-quoted words of David Wooderson, "I get older, they stay the same age."
If you can't find the person in your singles group who could easily be maligned by the moniker "Mr. Creepy Man," change churches. It's you.
Yes. I,too, was once a Swingle. Can you read my mind? I'm wondering if this picture will be the visual representation of my greatest fear: that this is the sum and total of my life experience. The point of my life represented by this photograph was rather like peering down a well hoping to see China and instead finding a septic tank. I would like to point out that this photograph is five years old and how it appeared on this particular swingles website, I have no idea. You can imagine my surprise (albiet dismay) to have found it on the World Wide Intraweb.
Goodbye and good luck, Swingles Group.