"I just want to be good!"...me
"I wish you weren't so obsessed with being good!"...him
I imagine that leaping back into the blogosphere without a parachute isn't the wisest thing I could have done, but foolishly I leap preferring later to look.
I, like other Christians, swing on a pendulum between license and legalism. It's not a one-night-only show, either. It's a process. Knowing Jesus, I want to remove all that might separate us. I become obsessed with doing the right thing. Pushing myself beyond my limits, I fall crumpled to the side of the Narrow Road exhausted, defeated and disappointed. Here, Jesus finds me, sets me right, and gives me Himself. Inebriated with the thought that the destination can't be changed or hindered by my failures, I run recklessly along the path flinging wide the doors of depravity. Again I fall crumpled, exhausted, defeated and disappointed on the side of the road. Jesus comes to comfort, wash feet, set me right, and give me Himself. For a while, I travel joy-filled reliant only on His strength, His sacrifice to sustain me. But soon, I lose sight of that revealed hope and I rely on myself. Erase and rewind. Life in the spincycle resumes.
Wretched (wo)man that I am. Only He can rescue me from this body of death.
su.
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